Smiles

Okay so I got good news and bad news I'll get the bad news out of the way first.
I really, really, really, wanna purge. I ate too much and I was sitting at the dinner table thinking "Gosh, I'd love to binge right about now." I was staring at the bread on the table wishing I could jam it all into my mouth, but thats just wasting food. Today is my last day to be fat, I gotta stop over eating, since I have been lately, and eat healthy amounts.
Good news now I figured out what I wanna study in college, I am gonna study psychology and foreign languages, I'm very excited (finally about something other then my ED) and can't wait for college to start.
Also I'm starting to feel uncomfortable with my body so I'm going to start working out more BUT only to tone up not to lose weight. I hope it stays that way.
As much as I'd like to starve and purge I know I can't get anywhere with my eating disorder.

~Laska

Doctors

So I went to the doctors for my headache, they gave me percocet, I took some and its meant to put me to sleep but I'm wide awake when just like half an hour ago I was dead tired.
I've been feeling to sick to eat much and Edna (my ED) tells me "yes, yes, don't eat! Lose as much weight as you can!"
Screw you Edna! Though I really do wanna lose the weight like I've said I can't do what I want if I do lose the weight.
I got a doctors apointment tomorrow in Phoenix for my eating disorder, its a doctors that specializes in eating disorders, but I might not go if I still feel sick.
I hate gaining weight, I just hope it'll get easier.

~Laska

Introduction

Hey guys just call me Laska.
This is my recovery blog.
So I got forced into recovery a while ago and I wasn't too happy about it, I hated it and I had planned to lose the weight the minute I got out of there, I'm still struggling with the thoughts of losing it the minute I get out, but if I do I can't do what I wanna do.
I wanna help girl and guys out in my situation, with EDs I can't do that if I'm sick myself so I gotta get better.
Anyways if anyone has any questions or needs support just let me know.

~Laska